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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23290735">Everything You Know Is Wrong</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElliottRook/pseuds/ElliottRookArchive'>ElliottRookArchive (ElliottRook)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Songfic, multiple-song songfic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2002-11-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:08:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,067</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23290735</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElliottRook/pseuds/ElliottRookArchive</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Weird Al Yankovic songfic with a Jello subplot...seriously! At any rate...Sonic gets dumped by Sally, which puts him pretty down in the dumps. So why can't he get his mind off Amy Rose?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amy Rose/Sonic the Hedgehog</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. You Don't Love Me Anymore</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A million-and-a-half years ago I held a contest on FFN, where I offered to write stories of people's choosing. A user by the name of CheeseWizardmon won and asked for a Sonic songfic...with each chapter featuring a different song by "Weird Al" Yankovic. He gave me the lyrics to the songs and the basic plot idea and had me stitch them together.</p><p>The continuity here is a blend between the comics, cartoon, and the Sonic Adventure game. If you're familiar with those, all you need to know is:<br/>-NeoCity=Station Square. CheeseWizardmon and I decided that for the purposes of this fic, Knothole and Mobotropolis are in the Mystic Ruins.<br/>-E-102 is alive again. He was rebuilt by Tails, who discovered the robot's--corpse, I guess, on the Egg Carrier. He now lives with Sonic and Tails at their apartment in NeoCity.<br/>-Robotnik is no longer evil. He now works at Neo labs, where he creates robots to help mankind.<br/>-CheeseWizardmon likes Jello.</p><p>The song for this chapter is <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWD5gdpt4Dw">You Don't Love Me Anymore</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Walking was not one of Sonic's favorite activities.</p><p class="p1">Walking on tiptoe and being sneaky, even more so.</p><p class="p1">His style was more the rush-in-save-the-day-and-take-names-later type.</p><p class="p1">But, when Sally got so caught up in her royal responsibilities that their relationship got pushed to the back burner, he usually forced himself to do something like this--sneaking up to her room with flowers and a picnic basket.</p><p class="p1">Sonic waved a hello to the nearest guard, and put a finger to his lips. The guard nodded back, a smile on his face. This wasn't the first time.</p><p class="p1">At last! Sally's hallway. The door to her room was right there. Sonic walked quietly, pressing himself to the wall. He tested the doorknob.<br/>
<br/>
Unlocked, as usual.</p><p class="p1">Finally, he could make some noise! He pushed the door open. "Surprise, Sally!"</p><p class="p1">"Sonic?!"</p><p class="p1">"Sonique?!!"</p><p class="p1">What in the world...?</p><p class="p1">Sally sat, on her couch, tangled up quite awkwardly with Antoine. A few seconds before, they had been quite busy with a passionate kiss.</p><p class="p1">"Sally...?" Sonic squeaked.</p><p class="p1">"Uh, Sonic, it's not what it looks like..."</p><p class="p1">Bad movie line. Was that the best she could do?</p><p class="p1">"Pairhaps I would be zee better off leafing you du alone..." Antoine tried.</p><p class="p1">Sally pulled back from him and nodded. "Maybe so...go on. I'll see you later."</p><p class="p1">Antoine took her hand and kissed it. "Most definitely, my Preencess." He inched carefully past Sonic, who simply glared, watching Antoine, staring at him until finally he bolted for the door and slammed it on his way out.</p><p class="p1">"I'm gonna kill him," Sonic said, flatly. He dropped the basket that he'd been gripping tight enough to make his knuckles turn white, and dropped his hand-picked daisies on top of them. He walked--gently, probably better not to startle her any more than she already had been--to Sally and sat beside her, where Antoine had been seconds before. "I only let him go because I have to take care of you first. Now, what happened? Did he hurt you?" Sonic put a gloved hand up to her hair and pushed some of it out of her face, looking for any scratches or scrapes.</p><p class="p1">Sally hung her head and pushed his hand away. "Not exactly."</p><p class="p1">"What happened?"</p><p class="p1">"I invited him up here, and we talked for a while, and...then...we...we..."</p><p class="p1">"Started making out for no apparent reason?" Sonic offered sarcastically.</p><p class="p1">"Not exactly." Sally turned, facing sideways to him so she didn't have to look at him. "This...wasn't the first time. Antoine...and I...we..."</p><p class="p1">Sonic frowned. No way. He'd assumed the worst of Antoine, and Sally was trying to tell him something else. There was no way he could be so idiotic as to not pick up on it either way. "You what?"</p><p class="p1">"Well...you were gone, see...and, you know Father would like to see me with him...so...I kind of agreed to go to a major royal announcement...party...thing..." Sally's voice was cracking. "You don't really care what it was, do you?...Well, I went with Antoine...and...one thing led to another, see...?"</p><p class="p1">Sonic did not see.</p><p class="p1">Sally looked over at him. "But...I mean, we can still be friends, right?"</p><p class="p1">"<em>What</em> did you say?" A few minutes ago, Sonic had been ready to rip Antoine apart, thinking he was taking advantage of Sally. Now he was ready to...well, no, he didn't exactly want to rip Sally apart. But he was very angry.</p><p class="p1">"We can still be friends. I mean, I still like you and all...and, we were never seriously boyfriend and girlfriend...you know, we just kind of...were there...no big deal, right?"</p><p class="p1">Sonic blinked for the first time since entering the room. "After <em>all</em> we've been through...all the years, the <em>battle</em>, the <em>fighting</em>, the <em>warring</em>...all the close calls, <em>everything</em>...that...that kiss...when everyone thought you'd <em>died</em>...you woke up and you were okay...and all of that...means nothing?"</p><p class="p1">"Well...of course it <em>means</em> something to me...I mean, Sonic, we meant a lot to each other back then, and it was my first real kiss and all..."</p><p class="p1">"So I'm just a childhood friend, is that it?"</p><p class="p1">"No, no...Sonic, please understand, I never meant for it to happen like this...I didn't set out to hurt you...but I'm happy now. Can't you understand that?"</p><p class="p1">"You could have told me. You could have said, 'Hey, Sonic, you know what, I went to a party with Antoine and now we're engaged, I was hoping you could be the best man!'"</p><p class="p1">"Quit exaggerating! Besides, I haven't been able to contact you for three weeks!"</p><p class="p1">"You act like I haven't seen you in three years!"</p><p class="p1">"I wish I hadn't!"</p><p class="p1">"I wish we'd never been friends!"</p><p class="p1">Sally paused. "Really?"</p><p class="p1">"If I'd known this was how it was going to end, I never would have liked you. You know, there's a reason they call me True-Blue. I think other people oughta be the same way."</p><p class="p1">Sally glared daggers at him. "I tried, Sonic, I really did. But you were never here. You never called, never e-mailed. There was a time I honestly thought you had given up on me."</p><p class="p1">"And then?"</p><p class="p1">"The party came up and I needed someone to go with. I wanted you to come, and I tried to get ahold of you. No luck."</p><p class="p1">"So you go with the French dip, and you fall in love?"</p><p class="p1">"Well...he's polite...he treats me like a lady...and he's always cared about me for as long as I can remember..."</p><p class="p1">"So have I!"</p><p class="p1">"But...Sonic, you never...said anything..."</p><p class="p1">"So?!"</p><p class="p1">"You never asked me out, so I thought you didn't care...that much...and I couldn't just wait around for you..."</p><p class="p1">"I didn't want you to wait for me! I wanted to ask you, but every time we got dangerously close, you changed the subject."</p><p class="p1">"I did not!"</p><p class="p1">"Well, never mind that. I'm asking you now. Sally...I...I care about you. Will you please, please, please, please, pleeeeeeeeeease be my girlfriend? Would that make you happy?"</p><p class="p1">Sally frowned. "No."</p><p class="p1">"Then what are you asking me to do?!"</p><p class="p1">"Let me be with Antoine! I care about him, he cares about me, and he's not afraid to tell me, either!"</p><p class="p1">"So what we had really is nothing. Don't deny it, you've proved it with what you've said."</p><p class="p1">Sally sighed. "Sonic, nothing is the same for me anymore. I live in a palace, surrounded by servants and guards, not to mention my family has doubled in size with my mom and brother, I don't have to rule Mobius 'someday', and...and..."</p><p class="p1">"And you don't love me anymore." A single, hot tear of anger trickled down his cheek as he decided that he didn't want to hear any more. He zoomed out the door, making no premise of being quiet, and raced out of the palace, heading for the nearest place he could be alone--the jungle surrounding the ancient temple in the Mystic Ruins.</p><p class="p1">He sped around, kicking up leaves and twigs and leaving a trail behind him that a two-year-old could follow. He zigged and zagged, braking so fast in small, sharp corners that he might have been worried about starting a forest fire.</p><p class="p1">If he'd been able to think of anything but Sally and his broken heart.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>We've been together for so very long</em>
</p><p class="p1">He reflected on times past; the time they'd spent together over the years. He'd known since he was little that he liked her. Maybe she was right--he wasn't big on vocalizing it, but he thought she knew.</p><p class="p1">The thought crossed his mind that she would say that's what he got for thinking, and it left a bitter aftertaste in his head.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong?<br/>
</em>
  <em>Seems you don't want me around<br/>
</em>
  <em>The passion is gone and the flame's died down</em>
</p><p class="p1">Why would she just change her mind like that? Maybe he had taken for granted the idea that she knew how he felt, but he had always known how she felt, or at least he thought he had.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem<br/>
</em>
  <em>That time that you made it with the whole hockey team</em>
</p><p class="p1">But she had changed her mind, there was no way around it. How she could care for the lowest, scummiest, dumbest guy in all of Knothole was an idea that completely evaded his thought processes. Maybe she had lost all sense of good taste.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>You used to think I was nice</em><br/>
<em>Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Antichrist</em>
</p><p class="p1">Another random thought flitted across Sonic's mind--this was going to create a scandal at the palace. His score on the reputation scale was going to plummet. Nobody was going to be his friend anymore--well, maybe some people, but certainly not the royal family. Especially not Sally herself, not after the way he'd acted. A thought stood at the back of his mind saying maybe he should be a little sorry, even go back and apologize, but he refused to process it, knowing he'd end up going back if he did.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Oh, why did you disconnect the brakes on my car?</em><br/>
<em>That kind of thing is hard to ignore</em><br/>
<em>Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore</em>
</p><p class="p1">Why had it been so sudden? If they had fallen out of love and formally declared it, and <em>then</em> this had all happened, it might not have hurt so bad.</p><p class="p1">Well, it <em>would</em> have hurt then, at least a little, wouldn't it?</p><p class="p2">
  <em>I knew that we were having problems when</em><br/>
<em>You put those piranhas in my bathtub again</em>
</p><p class="p1">And the part that stung the worst was that she had fallen for the one guy that Sonic couldn't stand.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>You're still the light of my life</em>
</p><p class="p1">He couldn't help still caring about her, despite what he'd said about wishing they'd never been friends. That wasn't really true. But he wasn't allowed to care about her anymore. She had someone else now, someone who loved her the way she wanted to be loved. Sonic smirked; Antoine was probably very careful about how he treated her, for fear of losing her. Of course, he was all about manners anyway. Still, Sonic was sure it was fragile between the two at best.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Oh darling, I'm begging</em><br/>
<em>Won't you put down that knife?</em><br/>
<em>You know, I even think it's kinda cute the way</em><br/>
<em>You poison my coffee just a little each day</em><br/>
<em>I still remember the way that you laughed</em><br/>
<em>When you pushed me down the elevator shaft</em><br/>
<em>Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra</em><br/>
<em>Doing in my underwear drawer?</em><br/>
<em>Sometimes I get to thinking you don't love me anymore</em><br/>
<em>You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill</em><br/>
<em>Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will</em><br/>
<em>You set my house on fire</em><br/>
<em>You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers</em>
</p><p class="p1">As Sonic ran on and began to tire out, the reality of the situation began to dawn on him. He'd really been dumped by Sally, the only girl he ever had or ever could care for. He felt...dead inside.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Oh, you think I'm ugly and you say I'm cheap</em><br/>
<em>You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep</em><br/>
<em>You drilled a hole in my head</em><br/>
<em>Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead</em>
</p><p class="p1">She might as well have just killed him there on the spot, he reflected. Not that he had lost all will to live--he'd gotten rather attached to the habit by now--but he was sure that he would feel nothing for the rest of his life--just a dead emptiness that was growing inside. She had meant so much to him, and now she had torn herself away and there was nothing to fill the void.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all</em><br/>
<em>You never acted this way before</em>
</p><p class="p1">What would make her be so faithless? Had any of it really been his fault? Hadn't it <em>all</em> been his fault? Would anything ever seem right again?</p><p class="p1">Why couldn't she still care about him?</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Honey, something tells me you don't love me anymore</em><br/>
<em>Oh no no</em><br/>
<em>Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore...</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I'm So Sick of You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The song for this chapter is <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOT5E6OsfyI">I'm So Sick of You</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Finally conscious thought returned to Sonic and he realized that Sally would probably send someone out to look for him--just because she was in love with someone else and just because she was angry with him, as she undoubtedly was, didn't mean that she wouldn't be upset if he fell over a cliff or anything else equally stupid. He didn't really want to go home, but on the other hand, he didn't want to be found.</p><p class="p1">He headed back towards the open part of the Mystic Ruins, finding Tails relaxing near the waterfall.</p><p class="p1">"Yo! Tails! Let's go home on the next train!"</p><p class="p1">Tails looked up at him, and pointed to the train tracks. "The 'next train' is leaving now."</p><p class="p1">"Then let's go!"</p><p class="p1">"Isn't it a little early?"</p><p class="p1">Sonic could see that Tails hadn't finished the book he'd brought along, a book that had something to do with computers and circuitry and all that other stuff that Rotor and Tails were good at that he wasn't. "You can read it on the train," he said. "I just want to get out of here."</p><p class="p1">Tails sighed. "It's nice here..."</p><p class="p1">"I'll explain on the train."</p><p class="p1">Tails stood and flew up to Sonic, and they both headed for the train. "Fine...this had better be good..."</p><p class="p1">After they had settled into seats on the train, Tails asked, "What's up, Sonic? What happened?"</p><p class="p1">"I'm not sure, Tails. I keep thinking that I'm going to wake up with you shaking me, telling me it's just a bad dream."</p><p class="p1">Tails reached over and pinched Sonic's arm.</p><p class="p1">"Ow! Hey, what was that...oh, thanks. Damn, it's real!" Sonic crossed his arms and looked out the window, avoiding Tails' gaze.</p><p class="p1">"What's real?!"</p><p class="p1">"You're not going to believe it."</p><p class="p1">"Just tell me!"</p><p class="p1">Sonic could tell that Tails thought that this was one of those things that everyone considered him "too young" for. Sonic hated to make Tails feel that way. "Fine. Sally dumped me."</p><p class="p1">Tails' eyes widened. "Sally...dumped...you?"</p><p class="p1">"Yeah, and for Antoine of all people!"</p><p class="p1">"Antoine...?" A horrified expression crossed Tails' face. "Antoine over you...? What was she thinking?"</p><p class="p1">"I wish I knew, Tails. I wish I knew."</p><hr/><p class="p1">They were silent throughout the rest of the train trip. From the station they walked--well, ran and flew, respectively--back to the apartment they shared with E-102 Gamma.</p><p class="p1">Sonic loved the city. It hadn't been very hard to make the decision to move to NeoCity with Tails. It beat Knothole any day, and Mobotropolis was so different after they cleaned up Eggman's mess, it was nothing like the Mobotropolis Sonic remembered from when he was a kid. Good thing the evil doctor was no longer evil.</p><p class="p1">But NeoCity--NeoCity was different. You could <em>feel</em> the energy pulsating throughout NeoCity. Things were always in a rush. Everyone was constantly moving. The people were loud, sometimes a little rude, and never slowed down.</p><p class="p1">It was Sonic's kind of town.</p><p class="p1">The apartment building wasn't far from the train station, it was in the next square, right by City Hall, across from the Burger Shop, and over a small gift shop that specialized in Faberge Chao eggs.</p><p class="p1">The pair climbed the stairs and entered the apartment. It was fairly spacious, and the rent was cheap, due to the noise. What the landlord didn't realize was that Sonic and Tails could sleep through nearly anything, and E-102 didn't sleep, and when they were awake, they <em>liked</em> the noise and the bustling.</p><p class="p1">"E! We're home!" Sonic called.</p><p class="p1">"I am in the living room." E-102 was sentient, but his mannerisms were still like that of a robot. No contractions in his speech, perfect grammar. He was learning slang but it sounded kind of funny coming from him.</p><p class="p1">"'Kay!" Tails said. He went into the living room himself. "Ooh, documentary..."</p><p class="p1">"I'll start dinner," Sonic yelled. No answer, but he started anyway.</p><p class="p1">He pulled some hot dogs out of the freezer and buns out of the breadbox and started chili on the stove. It wasn't the world's most difficult meal, or the world's prettiest meal, but it <em>was</em> the world's tastiest meal.</p><p class="p1">Tails came in about fifteen minutes later and started digging through some of the cabinets.</p><p class="p1">"Whatcha lookin' for, Tails?"</p><p class="p1">"Oh, I just realized that I wanted something sweet to snack on later and I remembered that we had some Jello powder somewhere in here..."</p><p class="p1">Sonic nodded. "Oh. Try the cabinet way on the end."</p><p class="p1">Tails did. "Paydirt!"</p><p class="p1">Sonic went into his room while the chili cooked and let Tails fix his own Jello. Tails might try to talk Sonic out of Jello later since he hadn't helped, but Sonic already had the ammunition of the fact that Tails hadn't helped with the chili dogs.</p><p class="p1">He flopped back on his bed. There was a Nerf ball within his reach on the desk, and he grabbed it and tossed it casually towards the hoop hanging on the back of the door.</p><p class="p1">Airball. Perfect airball.</p><p class="p1">And he didn't even care.</p><p class="p1">Sonic began to do something he didn't do often--think deep thoughts about emotions and relationships.</p><p class="p1">He knew he'd never really get along with Antoine now, but they had never really gotten along to begin with, so there was no great loss there.</p><p class="p1">Sally--she still wanted to be friends, but he wasn't sure he could be around her and not think of her that way. He'd lay low for a while, until he got it sorted out in his mind.</p><p class="p1">But what was he supposed to <em>do</em> in the meantime? Find a new girl? Even the thought hurt. But, on the other hand, he couldn't just sit around in his room, moping the days away.</p><p class="p1">Boresville!</p><p class="p1">The only thing to do was start going out and doing stuff. Run around the city and do anything that looked interesting. Video arcades. Maybe the casino. Go swim in the hotel's pool. Twinkle Park. Anything to keep from thinking about Sally!</p><p class="p1">"Hey, Tails?" Sonic shouted down the hall. Amazing how few conversations in this house actually took place face-to-face.</p><p class="p1">"Yeah?"</p><p class="p1">"You wanna hang out tomorrow? E, too!"</p><p class="p1">"Where?"</p><p class="p1">"Anywhere!"</p><p class="p1">"I guess so...hey, I think the chili's ready!"</p><p class="p1">Sonic came back to the kitchen. "Smells like it." He got out two plates and fixed several chili dogs for both of them. E-102 came out from the living room. Even though he didn't eat, he sat at the table to be sociable.</p><p class="p1">Tails began chowing down immediately, but Sonic ate slowly.</p><p class="p1">"What are you thinking about, Sonic?" E-102 asked.</p><p class="p1">"Oh, nothing..."</p><p class="p1">"Sally dumped him for Antoine," Tails informed him.</p><p class="p1">Sonic normally would have been upset, but E-102 was going to find out about it sooner or later, and it might as well be sooner. Besides that, Sonic didn't really care about much of anything anymore. "So, Tails, E, are we on for tomorrow?"</p><p class="p1">"Sure, Sonic," Tails agreed. "But where do you want to go?"</p><p class="p1">"Video arcade?" Although he'd never quite gotten the hang of computers, Sonic had always been good with video games.</p><p class="p1">"Sounds great. Hey, are you gonna eat that?" Tails pointed to the five chili dogs left on Sonic's plate.</p><p class="p1">Sonic stuffed the last bite of the one dog he'd managed to eat into his mouth. "Help yourself."</p><p class="p1">"Thanks!" Tails piled the chili dogs on his plate, oblivious to the idea that something had to be wrong with Sonic not to eat them himself. Even if the thought had crossed his mind, he would have known what was wrong.</p><p class="p1">Finally, Tails polished off his meal. "Time for Jello!" He headed for the kitchen.</p><p class="p1">Sonic brightened. Maybe a little Jello couldn't hurt. "Bring me some, too, 'kay?"</p><p class="p1">"You didn't help me with it!"</p><p class="p1">"You didn't help with the chili dogs, and you ate way more than I did!"</p><p class="p1">"Oh, all right..."</p><p class="p1">Tails came back with two bowls of Jello and sat one in front of Sonic. Sonic frowned. "Is it supposed to be that color?"</p><p class="p1">"I think it was supposed to be a little darker green. I might have used a little too much water. I'm sure it still tastes okay, though..."</p><p class="p1">"Green? It had better be lime."</p><p class="p1">"It is." Tails watched him expectantly.</p><p class="p1">Sonic shrugged and stuck his spoon into it. It went in a little bit too easily for comfort. When he lifted his spoon out, greenish water dripped from it. He raised an eyebrow, but put it in his mouth anyway.</p><p class="p1">He spat it out immediately, fortunately landing it back in his bowl. "Gah! Tails! That's nasty!"</p><p class="p1">"What?"</p><p class="p1">"It tastes like flat Mountain Dew. Gross..."</p><p class="p1">Tails took a bite and pulled his own spit take. "You're right. This is worthless. Definitely too much water. Rats." Tails took both the bowls to the kitchen, and Sonic could hear him pouring the barely set Jello down the drain.</p><p class="p1">Would nothing go right today?</p><hr/><p class="p1">"Ha! 500 points! Oh, come on, come on, comeoncomeoncomeon...YES!" Sonic grinned. He was winning--as usual.</p><p class="p1">Tails watched in wonder. "Wow...you've gotta teach me that move, Sonic."</p><p class="p1">"Not a move, little bro, a cheat code."</p><p class="p1">Tails' eyes widened. "You use cheat codes?"</p><p class="p1">"All this one does is put more big targets up so you can rack up points faster. It doesn't do anything for your aim."</p><p class="p1">Tails scowled. Aim was not his strong point. He left his studying of Sonic and challenged E-102 to a kart-racing game.</p><p class="p1">The small video arcade, down the beach from the hotel, was one of Sonic's favorite hangouts. Video games were the only sane way he could release pent-up emotions and energy <em>without</em> running at full speed.</p><p class="p1">"Come on, don't let me down now...yes! A thousand points! 300 more points and I win...ooh, I think that's worth 500...yes! 500! High score of the day!" He entered SONICHEDGE as his name. He was pleased to see that all ten high scores on the game were listed under SONICHEDGE.</p><p class="p1">"Hey, Tails, E, check this out! I rule!"</p><p class="p1">Tails paused the game, swiveled in his chair, and looked. "I know. I found your name three or four times on the high scores of this game, too."</p><p class="p1">"Four," Sonic affirmed. "Next game!" He moved to another console.</p><p class="p1">They spent another half an hour at various games without incident.</p><p class="p1">Until, of course, Sonic heard a high-pitched giggle. One which he had learned to fear.</p><p class="p1">Looking towards the door, trying to hide behind the console, he tried to confirm his suspicions.</p><p class="p1">A group of girls had entered the video arcade. A blue duck, a dark green hedgehog, a red echidna...oh, no! Amy Rose was at the center of the group!</p><p class="p1">Sonic pressed his body to the wall. Peachy. He had to get Tails and E-102's attention, and let them know he was leaving, and maybe they'd want to come along. Amy could be quite irritating when pressing for information on Sonic's location.</p><p class="p1">"Hey, Sonic, you want to--"</p><p class="p1">"Shhh!"</p><p class="p1">Tails frowned, but lowered his voice. "What's the matter?"</p><p class="p1">Sonic's eyes darted towards the snack bar at the other end of the small building. "Amy. Here."</p><p class="p1">Tails glanced and spotted her. "I'll get E. We'll go."</p><p class="p1">Tails got E-102 and the three headed quietly for the door. They had just about made it when Sonic opened the door.</p><p class="p1">They had forgotten about the bell that jingled every time someone entered or left.</p><p class="p1">The jingling sound wasn't overpowering, but it was enough to make Amy Rose glance toward the door.</p><p class="p1">"Sonic! Hey, girls, catch ya later, okay?" She dropped some change on the counter for her soda, which she abandoned, and ran to say hello.</p><p class="p1">"Run!" Sonic said, and the trio took off at top speed.</p><p class="p1">"Where are we going?" Tails asked. He and E-102 were both able to fly and keep up with Sonic.</p><p class="p1">"Anywhere!"</p><p class="p1">They ducked around corners, dodged people, and ignored Amy's shouts until Sonic ducked inside a doorway.</p><p class="p1">The three tried to catch their breaths as they saw Amy run past the tinted glass doors.</p><p class="p1">"Now what?" E-102 asked.</p><p class="p1">Sonic looked around. "The casino...huh. That was a complete accident...but as long as we're here, we may as well kill some more time and let Amy get thoroughly lost."</p><p class="p1">"She knows her way around pretty well," Tails pointed out. "She <em>does</em> live here, after all."</p><p class="p1">"Yeah, and she lives right across the street from us. How often do we talk to her? She may be able to get back, but she won't know where <em>we</em> are."</p><p class="p1">Tails nodded.</p><p class="p1">Sonic headed for a pinball machine. He was almost as good at that as he was at video games.</p><p class="p1">After about thirty minutes, he decided that Amy was as good as gone. "E, Tails, you guys ready to go?"</p><p class="p1">Tails nodded, and the threesome headed out onto the sidewalk.</p><p class="p1">They walked about ten feet away from the door before they heard a shout. "Sonic! I knew I'd find you!"</p><p class="p1">"What are the odds?" Sonic muttered under his breath. But there Amy was, running towards them from the hotel lobby.</p><p class="p1">Tails and E-102 took off at almost the same second he did. They raced towards the stairs across the plaza and up into the train station. There wouldn't be any trains leaving for twenty minutes at the least, and they didn't have the time at that moment. Besides, the last thing Sonic wanted to do was hop on a train and end up at the Mystic Ruins that reminded him so much of Sally. "Follow me, guys!" Sonic led them out of the unusually crowded station and towards the hotel. They barely managed to get inside the glass doors before spotting Amy come out of the station.</p><p class="p1">"Sonic! Sonic? Aw, man..."</p><p class="p1">They didn't watch where she went. They didn't have time before the manager greeted Sonic. "Hello, Sonic! How have you been lately?"</p><p class="p1">Sonic smiled crookedly. "Eheh...well...we've been running around, doing this and that, you know..."</p><p class="p1">"You look tired. Why don't you go take a dip in the pool? I won't tell." He winked.</p><p class="p1">"Really?" Tails asked. He liked swimming.</p><p class="p1">Sonic pondered. Amy wasn't likely to find them at the hotel. Who would look for someone at a hotel when that someone rented an apartment just around the corner?</p><p class="p1">"Sure!"</p><p class="p1">They went outside to the pool. E-102 wasn't waterproof, so he sat at one of the tables while Sonic and Tails removed their shoes and gloves and jumped in.</p><p class="p1">Sonic floated on his back.</p><p class="p1">"Remember the day that you crashed way out at the other end of the beach?" he asked Tails.</p><p class="p1">"Yeah. That wasn't fun. Why?"</p><p class="p1">"Oh, I was just thinking that it doesn't seem like such a long time ago that we didn't know E, and we were constantly battling Eggman, and Sally was my girl..." Sonic sighed. "Why does everything I think lead to her?"</p><p class="p1">Tails shrugged and splashed him.</p><p class="p1">Sonic took it as the challenge it was and splashed back. It didn't take more than a few seconds to turn into an all-out water fight. They yelled at each other so loud they could barely hear Amy.</p><p class="p1">Amy?!</p><p class="p1">"Sonic!" She stood there in front of the automatic doors leading inside. She smiled brightly.</p><p class="p1">Sonic jumped out of the pool, dragging Tails by the wrist. "Run!"</p><p class="p1">He jumped over the small wall and into the beach water, and ran around the wall of the hotel. E-102 followed closely, carrying their shoes and gloves. Sonic dashed as quickly as he could to the opposite end of the small plaza.</p><p class="p1">"Where are we going?" Tails managed to yell.</p><p class="p1">"Twinkle Park!"</p><p class="p1">"I thought you said that it was a cheesy theme park..."</p><p class="p1">Sonic halted as they got onto the elevator and it started its ascent. "It is...but she won't find us there...and the go-carts aren't that bad...a little slow, but not bad..."</p><p class="p1">Tails shook his head. "You know, you <em>could</em> just talk to her once in a while. Maybe she'd get off your case."</p><p class="p1">Sonic frowned.</p><p class="p1">"I think he enjoys the game of cat-and-mouse," E-102 suggested to Tails as he gave them their gloves and shoes and they began putting them back on.</p><p class="p1">"I do not!"</p><p class="p1">They got into the park and in line for Twinkle Circuit.</p><p class="p1">Sonic stared around, looking blankly at whatever his eye happened to run across.</p><p class="p1">"Whatsa matter?" Tails asked.</p><p class="p1">"I was just thinking that it's kind of ironic that I chased Amy through here once trying to save her from that robot Zero, and now I'm here trying to get away from her."</p><p class="p1">Tails laughed.</p><p class="p1">They got into three karts and sped away around the track.</p><p class="p1">"I win!" Sonic cried a few minutes later when they'd completed three loops around the course.</p><p class="p1">"No, it was Tails," E-102 said.</p><p class="p1">"Yeah, Sonic, I know I was ahead of you for a little while..."</p><p class="p1">"No way! You fell back!"</p><p class="p1">"Tails won the race," a perky voice said, "but you've won my heart, Sonic!"</p><p class="p1">Sonic froze, not wanting to take another step away from the kart track. "Amy?"</p><p class="p1">"Me again!" Amy Rose stood before the threesome, grinning.</p><p class="p1">Sonic turned to Tails and E-102. "You two, stay here, go on home, do whatever you want to do. I was hoping we could get away from her, but since we can't...bye!" Sonic vanished, kicking up dust.</p><p class="p1">Amy pouted. "Sonic!" she waved to Tails and E-102. "Bye!" She chased after Sonic.</p><hr/><p class="p1">Sonic entered the apartment at ten that night, exhausted. The TV was on.</p><p class="p1">"E?" he asked quietly.</p><p class="p1">"Shh. Tails is asleep."</p><p class="p1">"I figured."</p><p class="p1">"What happened to Amy Rose?"</p><p class="p1">Sonic slumped onto the couch. "I lost her...and I ran around for the longest time...and I ended up back here, bought a burger at the shop across the street for dinner, and I walked out the door and there she was, getting ready to go into her building over there, and the whole thing started all over...I am so sick of running from that crazy chick..."</p><p class="p1">"I believe that you enjoy running from her more than you let people think."</p><p class="p1">"I think I'm gonna go to bed..."</p><p class="p1">"Good night," E-102 said.</p><p class="p1">Sonic's sole response was a loud snore, so E-102 poked him. Sonic shook his head. "I'm going to bed." He walked off and crawled into his bed.</p><p class="p1">Somehow, even though he was tired, he couldn't drop off again. Thoughts of Annoying Amy whirled though his mind. He began to make a mental list of all the things he couldn't stand about her.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>You tell a joke and forget the punchline</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Why you always wastin' my time?</em>
</p><p class="p1">Before Amy, life had been...simple. She liked to talk...about nothing. Sonic couldn't understand much of her "girl talk".</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Hey baby, trust me, you just disgust me</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Your hair's a mess and your make-up's crusty</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I don't know too many females</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Who make a habit of biting their toenails</em>
</p><p class="p1">Tails had said once that Amy wasn't that bad, but Sonic thought of her that way because he didn't want to admit that maybe he'd gotten the wrong first impression, that he wasn't willing to get to know someone before he made up his mind about them.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Wo, every time you call, you drive me up the wall</em>
</p><p class="p1">She used to call a lot--"just to chat!"--until Sonic had caught on to the miracle of caller ID. He'd see her number and go over to the window and smile and wave, making motions indicating that he was busy. It was the one time she'd gotten a clue.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Honey, just the sight of you makes my flesh crawl</em>
</p><p class="p1">Any time he saw her, he ran. Anything not to be in the same room with her. He was definitely <em>not</em> in love with the girl next door.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>I'm sure we'd be happy together<br/></em>
  <em>If only one little thing weren't true<br/></em>
  <em>Oh baby, I yi yi yi yi<br/></em>
  <em>I'm so sick of you</em>
</p><p class="p1">Maybe Tails was right; maybe she wasn't <em>so</em> bad, but he didn't want to find out--it was a pride point. He'd kept up the hate routine so long it seemed a shame to give it up--and she really did irritate him at times.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>You drink the milk right from the carton</em>
  <br/>
  <em>What are you, in kindergarten?</em>
</p><p class="p1">He also thought she was a little immature, but he was comparing her to Tails, who was, firstly, mature for his age, and secondly, he was a guy and Amy was a girl, obviously. There was just no comparison.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>You're belchin' everywhere, foulin' up the air</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Then you use my razor to shave your back hair</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You don't have an ounce of class</em>
</p><p class="p1">Amy...Amy had embarrassed herself a few times trying to get to hang with Sonic. She'd do anything to be around him, even if he <em>didn't</em> like her, which, at times, she refused to believe. Sonic found it hard to believe that she was that clueless--but he believed it anyway. As long as he thought she was that stupid, there was a reason to avoid her.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>You're just one big pain in the neck</em>
  <br/>
  <em>How much more can I take now, give me a break now</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You even snore when you're wide awake now</em>
</p><p class="p1">He wasn't sure that living in the perfect place was worth being right across the street from her. Of course, the fact that she was right across the street made the fact that the place <em>was</em> perfect debatable.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>You tell all your friends we're the perfect couple</em>
</p><p class="p1">It also irritated Sonic that a few times she had told other people that she was his girlfriend. He'd never said anything to that effect; certainly never asked her to be such.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Well, maybe you should get a clue</em>
  <br/>
  <em>'Cause baby, I yi yi yi yi</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm so sick of you</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Baby, you're so nauseatin'</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I yi yi yi yi</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm so sick of you</em>
</p><p class="p1">Basically, he couldn't stand her. Pretty much everything you could say about her, he could figure out some way to make it seem irritating.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>And when you softly call my name</em>
  <br/>
  <em>It's like I'm listenin' to a squeaky chalk sound</em>
</p><p class="p1">Her voice was irritating--but in a way, it was the one good thing about her. Since she never shut up, he could always hear her coming--usually in time to get away.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>And when you look at me that special way</em>
  <br/>
  <em>It's hard for me to keep my lunch down</em>
</p><p class="p1">She tried her best, he had to give her that. However, most of her efforts to attract him did just the opposite.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>And when you ask me what I'm thinkin' honey, usually I'm thinkin'</em>
  <br/>
  <em>How I'd really like to tie your head completely up in duct tape</em>
  <br/>
  <em>So I wouldn't have to listen to you asking me those stupid questions</em>
  <br/>
  <em>over and over again</em>
</p><p class="p1">When she tried to talk to him, he just blew her off. He had better things to do...like clean the toilet...channel-surf...eat Tails' nasty Jello...</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Well, that disgusting noise you make when you laugh</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Gives me a throbbing migraine</em>
  <br/>
  <em>(Can't stand you, I just can't stand you)</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Until you came along I never dated anyone</em>
  <br/>
  <em>This low on the food chain</em>
  <br/>
  <em>(Can't stand you, I just can't stand you)</em>
</p><p class="p1">He hated to be around her. Sometimes there were palace functions where he had to be around her, though--with her being distantly related to the royal family, she was always invited to the big functions and balls and such. He grimaced, being reminded of Sally again.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>You've got inhuman body odor</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You've got the hair of a boxing promoter</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Yeah, your teeth are all yellow, your butt's made of Jell-O</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You wake up in a puddle, droolin' on your pillow</em>
</p><p class="p1">He didn't think she was pretty, either. He tried <em>not</em> to think about how pretty Sally was, and focused on Amy. In truth, she <em>was</em> pretty, there had been an idea once that she was going to turn out being a model. She still could, probably, if she wanted to.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>I hate the way you crack your knuckles</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I hate your whiny loser girlfriends too</em>
</p><p class="p1">He couldn't stand her little clique, either. If being immature and annoying was a profession, she was learning the trade from her friends.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>But mostly I yi yi yi yi</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm so sick of you</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Really now, you're aggravatin'</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I yi yi yi yi</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm so sick of you</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Not to mention irritatin'</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I yi yi yi yi</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm so sick of you</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Well, now won't you give my best regards to Satan</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I yi yi yi yi</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm so sick of you</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm so sick of you</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm so sick of you</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm so sick of you</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You make me sick</em>
</p><p class="p1">In a nutshell...</p><p class="p1">He couldn't stand that girl!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I Can't Watch This</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The song for this chapter is <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHDGVoheNVg">I Can't Watch This</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Sonic woke up still slightly tired. What had happened? Oh yeah...Amy Rose. It hadn't been the first time Amy had "happened" to him, even when he'd been with Sally.</p><p class="p1">Sally. It stung, but he didn't have as much trouble changing train of thought that time. Maybe he was starting to be over her.</p><p class="p1">Should that bother him?</p><p class="p1">Oh well.</p><p class="p1">Amy Rose. Gracious. She had been invading his life for the longest time. She'd never gotten the message that Sonic was with Sally, but now it was just as well.</p><p class="p1">Sonic wondered why he hadn't just told Amy that he didn't like her a long time ago. Oh, wait--the one time he'd thought of it, he'd figured she'd never get the message and never told her.</p><p class="p1">Maybe now that she'd gotten a little older, matured a bit, she'd understand. Maybe he should explain to her that he was heartbroken just then and would appreciate it if she'd lay off.</p><p class="p1">No! She'd just convince herself that she was the perfect cure for him!</p><p class="p1">Tails tapped on the door.</p><p class="p1">"What is it?"</p><p class="p1">"Oh! We thought you were asleep. Breakfast is ready."</p><p class="p1">Sonic pushed himself up and out of his bed and shuffled into the kitchen. "Slightly burnt waffles, my favorite..."</p><p class="p1">"Really?" E-102 asked. "I didn't mean to burn them, but now I'm glad I did..."</p><p class="p1">Sonic let it go. He wasn't in the mood.</p><hr/><p class="p1">The day dragged quite slowly, the previous two day's events reeling through his mind over and over, like a commercial that just wouldn't die.</p><p class="p1">He missed Sally, plotted Antoine's death, and got irritated by Amy in turn. As the hours progressed, he didn't miss so much, he plotted less evilly, and he got more and more irritated.</p><p class="p1">He sat in the chair by the window, watching the traffic pass by around the cul-de-sac. A woman in a fleece jacket went into the gift shop below. A mixed group of human and furry teens came out of the Burger Shop. The same taxi with the same passenger passed by six times within half an hour. An echidna couple holding hands sat on one of the benches below, kissing--that stung. A tall squirrel in a suit walked a pet dog. Amy left her building--that annoyed. A little old lady chatted with a young armadillo boy. A Flickie bird fluttered about looking for material for a nest in a tree by City Hall. A harried teenage fox girl chased after a hedgehog child. A limo dropped off some chameleon official at City Hall and a newspaper photographer was there to capture it on digital camera. An armadillo in a suit drove up to pick up the woman from the gift shop. Amy returned with a few bags, some grocery, some not--that also annoyed. Sonic almost laughed when an orange fell out of one of them.</p><hr/><p class="p1">E-102 and Tails made dinner and Sonic ate, uninterested.</p><p class="p1">After dinner, Tails brought out a bowl.</p><p class="p1">"What's that?" Sonic queried.</p><p class="p1">"I went down to the store earlier and bought another box of Jello!" Tails informed him cheerfully.</p><p class="p1">"What color?" Sonic asked.</p><p class="p1">"Red. I think it's strawberry." Tails set the bowl on the table. "I was <em>very</em> careful not to use too much water." He grabbed a spoon and two small bowls and stuck the spoon in to dish it out.</p><p class="p1">But the spoon wouldn't go in.</p><p class="p1">Sonic laughed. "Quit joking around, bud, I want some Jello!"</p><p class="p1">"I'm <em>not</em> playing around!" Tails cried.</p><p class="p1">Sonic raised an eyebrow and stuck his finger into the Jello. Or, rather, touched the Jello. It was stiff, hardened in the bowl. He shook his head. "You went a little overboard on using less water," he said.</p><p class="p1">"Awww man!" Tails threw his head back in defeat. "Darn..."</p><p class="p1">Sonic, not to be deterred, got a steak knife and, after much hacking and cutting, managed to get a piece out of it and put it into a bowl.</p><p class="p1">Tails turned to put the large bowl on the counter and knocked Sonic's arm, causing Sonic to spill the hunk of Jello.</p><p class="p1">It hit the floor.</p><p class="p1">And bounced back up like a superball.</p><p class="p1">"Whoa..." Tails said in reverence. "We should call the Jello people and tell them what we've invented here..."</p><p class="p1">Sonic shook his head. "How are we gonna throw the rest of it away if it's stuck to the bowl?" he wondered aloud.</p><p class="p1">"Heat it," E-102 suggested. "It will probably melt."</p><p class="p1">They ended up having to do that, popping it in the microwave until it melted sufficiently to pour it down the drain.</p><p class="p1">"Next time," Sonic told Tails, "Let E do it."</p><hr/><p class="p1">As the sun sank into the west Sonic decided to see what was on TV. Anything to take his mind off his current troubles--Sally and Antoine, Amy, the whole darn mess.</p><p class="p1">The chameleon official was on live from City Hall, giving a speech about why he wanted to be elected to the position of--Sonic flipped the channel to a documentary on the history of the Mobian royal family. He flipped it again. A guy in a suit behind a pulpit reading from the tomes. Sonic sighed. Religion had its place, but TV wasn't it--another flip. A ballgame. Sonic sweatdropped. Who wanted to watch sports when you could play them?</p><p class="p1">
  <em>I can't watch this. I can't watch this</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I can't watch this. I can't watch this</em>
  <br/>
  <em>My my my my TV makes me so bored</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Makes me say oh my Lord</em>
  <br/>
  <em>What is this garbage here?</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears</em>
</p><p class="p1">Another flip brought him to a soap opera. An armadillo was making out passionately with his echidna girlfriend. As soon as he began to unzip her dress, Sonic flipped it again.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>It sucks, and that's no lie</em>
  <br/>
  <em>It's about as much fun as watching paint dry</em>
</p><p class="p1">A home improvement show. A buxom chameleon woman in a low-cut blouse held up some power tool and grinned. Her male cohost began demonstrating how to use it.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Lowers my IQ one notch</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch</em>
</p><p class="p1">Another flip brought on a kiddie show. An echidna puppet began to sing, "Love and kindness..." and even Sonic couldn't hit the button fast enough.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>I told you homeboy...I can't watch this</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Yeah, nothin' but trash and you know</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I can't watch this</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Poke out my eyes, man...I can't watch this</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Yo, gimme that remote control...I can't watch this</em>
</p><p class="p1">A movie. It had been on for an hour, probably, but Sonic paused momentarily. There was a bird's-eye shot of mass destruction. A shot of a typical office building--then with loud reverberations, it exploded. Then it cut to an echidna guy standing next to a bed, in which lay a hedgehog girl very obviously wearing nothing but the sheets. Another flip.</p><p class="p1">An emu stood with a blank expression and laughter was heard. A sitcom imported from Downunda. Flip.</p><p class="p1">A skimpily-clad koala girl strummed a guitar and sang. The shot switched to a hot car going 90 miles an hour in beat to the music. The music channel. Flip.</p><p class="p1">"And that...is how...you can clean your silver without any effort," an echidna woman with short, perfectly coifed blond hair informed her audience. The show's logo popped up, "Martha Steward". Flip.</p><p class="p1">An infomercial for a business that could make you millions!--minimum investment required. Flip.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Talkin' bout sick shows</em>
  <br/>
  <em>There's America's Funniest Home Videos</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I can't believe my eyes</em>
  <br/>
  <em>When I see the kind of stuff that wins first prize</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Somebody's poor old mom</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Falls down off the roof, lands right on the lawn</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Face first on a rake</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I hear they got it on the seventeenth take</em>
  <br/>
  <em>That's funny as a kick in the crotch</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And that kinda show, uh, I can't watch</em>
</p><p class="p1">Bloopers. Outtakes. Home videos. A boy ran over his little sister with his bike. There was something wrong with home videos that showed blood. Flip.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Yo, I told you...I can't watch this</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Change the channel now, man...I can't watch this</em>
</p><p class="p1">A show on which everyone spoke another language. Yeah, right. Flip.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Yo, pass the TV Guide over here, sucker...I can't watch this</em>
</p><p class="p1">An alligator woman was dancing around the screen, hugging the echidna host, and carrying on like she'd won a million dollars. A number flashed across the bottom of the screen--she <em>had</em> won a million dollars. Stupid gameshows. Flip.</p><p class="p1">The weather channel. Cute fox chick pointing out the day's high and low temperatures.</p><p class="p1">Sonic glanced through the TV directory out of the paper. Nothing.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Cosby show and Roseanne</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Think I've taken 'bout as much as I can</em>
</p><p class="p1">Flip. A small, kawaii hedgehog child elicited a laugh from an offscreen audience and a male fox just shook his head. Another stupid sitcom.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Judge Wopner, oh my</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You gotta be Rainman to like this guy</em>
</p><p class="p1">A live courtroom battle. Apparently some chameleon lady had backed her car into her echidna neighbor's flowerbed and ruined his prize hybrid tea roses that he'd been hoping to enter in a competition. Flip.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Thirtysomething's all right</em>
  <br/>
  <em>If you like hearing yuppies whining all night</em>
</p><p class="p1">Snotty rich people sitcom. Flip.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Can't stand Twin Peaks</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Wish they'd lynch those donut-eatin' freaks</em>
</p><p class="p1">Sitcom centered at a coffee shop. Flip.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Those Siskel and Ebert bums</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Oughtta go home and just sit on their thumbs</em>
</p><p class="p1">Movie reviewers. "They all suck!" the television screamed. Sonic grinned, thinking that the reviewer sucked, too. Flip.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>That's word because you know...I can't watch this</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I can't watch this</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Break it down!</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Here's how to order-money back guarantee-</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Removes tough stains fast-it tastes more like fresh peanuts-</em>
  <br/>
  <em>They keep going and going-don't hate me because I'm beautiful-</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Could be dandruff-our prices are insaaaane!!!</em>
</p><p class="p1">Flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip. Nothing!</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Stop! Prime time!</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I'm pretty sure I'll be sick</em>
  <br/>
  <em>If I have to watch another stupid pet trick</em>
</p><p class="p1">"In our must-see lineup, coming this fall!" Flip.</p><p class="p1">An alligator teen with his pet Chao doing tricks. Flip.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Or that guy with the real flat hair</em>
  <br/>
  <em>That goes "woof woof woof" and waves</em>
  <br/>
  <em>His fist in the air</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Or those weird talk shows</em>
  <br/>
  <em>About transsexual Nazi Eskimos</em>
  <br/>
  <em>They're rude, and crude and vile</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Just for a minute let's flip down the dial</em>
</p><p class="p1">A hedgehog woman held out the mike to a sobbing fox man. "I swear...I never meant to hurt her!" he cried. The woman shook her head. "We'll return shortly and talk to his daughter." A headline came up at the bottom of the screen. "Arranged marriages: security or hell?" Flip.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Flip, flip, flip; yecch, I can't watch this</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Look, man, I can't watch this</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I can't take this torture no more, I can't</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I can't watch this</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Pay the bills, station break</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Break it down!</em>
</p><p class="p1">A young fox woman in the middle of her backyard wearing her white, lacy, sexy nightgown screamed into the night. A scary-looking armadillo emerged from the bushes, wielding a bloody knife. "I WILL BE AVENGED!" B-movie. Flip.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Operators are standing by-cubic zirconium necklace-</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You're soaking in it-and our fabulous swimsuit issue-</em>
  <br/>
  <em>When you've got a headache this big-read the book-</em>
  <br/>
  <em>This is your brain on drugs-I've fallen and I can't get up!!!</em>
</p><p class="p1">Flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip. Nothing again.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Stop! Cable time!</em>
  <br/>
  <em>HBO and Playboy, Showtime and MTV</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I might like them more after my lobotomy</em>
</p><p class="p1">Flip. Sonic hit the all-movie channels.</p><p class="p1">A fox couple stared at each other over a candlelight dinner. "Will you marry me?" Flip.</p><p class="p1">A young chameleon man jerked a pretty echidna girl out of harm's way. She looked at the truck that had almost run her over, then looked at her hunky rescuer and plastered her lips to his. Flip.</p><p class="p1">Four young women in a convertible with the top down waving their arms in the wind. Chick flick. Flip.</p><p class="p1">A hedgehog couple trapped in a laser-walled chamber. "And if two you try to escape, you'll die!" The man turned to the woman. "Got a bobby pin?" She pulled something out of her hair and handed it to him. He jammed it into the floor and the lasers disappeared. Flip.</p><p class="p1">Another music channel airing a live special. An echidna singer destroyed his guitar. Flip.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Now why did I ever pay for this junk?</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I hooked up eighty channels, and each one stunk</em>
</p><p class="p1">Another documentary, this one on a famous author. How could there be so many channels airing nothing worth watching?</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Just brainless blood and guts, and mindless T &amp; A</em>
  <br/>
  <em>It's awful, it's putrid, it's crummy, it's stupid, gonna</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Throw my set away</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I can't watch this, I can't watch this</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I can't watch this, yeah, I can't watch this</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I told you, can't watch this</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Too hip, can't watch this</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Get me outta here, can't watch this</em>
</p><p class="p1">Sonic sighed. The next flip brought him back to the chameleon at City Hall.</p><p class="p1">"Forget this!" he cried, chucking a pillow at the TV. Thankfully, it hit the power button and the screen went dark.</p><p class="p1">He went into his room and turned on the stereo. He located a CD and popped it in, and within minutes the soothing strains of loud, screaming guitar filled the room. Someone in the apartment above stamped their feet. "Turn that down!" Sonic pretended not to hear.</p><p class="p1">He pushed aside the blind and peeked out the window of his room. Amy was down eating at the Burger Shop. He lowered the blind, but for some reason couldn't keep himself from watching. He kept the opening he watched out of as small as possible to avoid being seen.</p><p class="p1">She laughed loudly, he could see, and practically stood up in her seat as she called for her check. She glanced at it and handed the guy probably more than she owed. Whether she told him to keep the change or credit it to her tab, there was no way of knowing. As she left the shop and walked over to the door that led to her staircase, Sonic pulled back from the window.</p><p class="p1">What was he doing?!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Everything You Know Is Wrong</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The song for this chapter is <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EStEiPVcyPA">Everything You Know Is Wrong</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Sonic woke up a bit earlier than usual and spent the minutes staring at the ceiling.</p><p class="p1">Thoughts floated around in his head; mostly unbidden. He wanted to go back to sleep but he simply could not.</p><p class="p1">He missed Sally. He thought of Amy.</p><p class="p1">Amy again. It was bad enough that she never left him alone in the real world, did she really have to contaminate his mental world as well?</p><p class="p1">Why was he thinking of her so much?</p><p class="p1">There was a tap at the door.</p><p class="p1">"Yeah?"</p><p class="p1">"Tails wants to know what you would like for breakfast." It was E-102.</p><p class="p1">"Food!"</p><p class="p1">"All right." E-102 had yet to learn the intricacies of the subtle art of sarcasm.</p><p class="p1">Sonic ignored it for the moment; at least Tails would know that he didn't really care what they ate.</p><p class="p1">He lay buried in his thoughts until he smelled pancakes and eggs. He got up, entered the kitchen, and plunked down at a chair.</p><p class="p1">"Morning, Sonic."</p><p class="p1">"Morning." Sonic's voice couldn't have matched his skin any better.</p><p class="p1">"Whatsa matter?"</p><p class="p1">"Still thinking about Sal."</p><p class="p1">Tails nodded, setting a plateful of pancakes on the table and seating himself. "It'll be better sometime."</p><p class="p1">Sonic nodded and helped himself to breakfast, but wasn't convinced.</p><hr/><p class="p1">Tails and E-102 left the apartment later, something about groceries, but Sonic didn't feel like going anywhere.</p><p class="p1">He sat and watched the window again. When he wasn't speeding through it at Mach II, the traffic was actually quite interesting.</p><p class="p1">Amy emerged from her building, quite cheerfully walking along the street, greeting friends and acquaintances.</p><p class="p1">Sonic shook his head. He envied her on one point--when he rejected her, she was able to bounce back and enjoy life, it didn't put her in the depths of despair. When he got rejected, it almost killed him.</p><p class="p1">Maybe she knew something he didn't.</p><p class="p1">He couldn't help but watch her move along down the street, her hair getting caught in the breeze; her red dress drawing attention to her attractive figure; her smile lighting up the neighborhood--</p><p class="p1">What the hell was he thinking?!</p><p class="p1">He jerked back from the window, shocked at his own thoughts.</p><p class="p1">He glanced back out, but she had disappeared around the corner and he was more than a little surprised to find that he was slightly disappointed.</p><p class="p1">Maybe Tails had been right. Maybe he simply didn't want to get to know her.</p><p class="p1">Where were these thoughts coming from?</p><p class="p1">
  <em>I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane</em>
  <br/>
  <em>with a rabid wolverine in my underwear</em>
  <br/>
  <em>when suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat</em>
  <br/>
  <em>popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I guessed, "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?"</em>
</p><p class="p1">It was like out of nowhere his thought processes had completely reversed for no apparent reason. Everything felt weird.</p><p class="p1">Okay...okay. He had to ground himself, figure out what was going on.</p><p class="p1"><em>If</em> this new thought about Amy was right--<em>if</em> he didn't hate her after all--how <em>did</em> he feel, and how did he want to handle it?</p><p class="p1">He...felt...scared, yes, that things could change, but things had changed so much already that it couldn't get much worse.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>I probably would have kept on guessing but about</em>
  <br/>
  <em>that time we crashed into the truck</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt</em>
  <br/>
  <em>finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer</em>
  <br/>
  <em>who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me</em>
</p><p class="p1">He felt...attracted, to her? Maybe? He was, at least, willing to admit that she was pretty after all.</p><p class="p1">What else about her could be counted as a good quality?</p><p class="p1">Pretty, yes. Persistent, yes. Sweet, kind, loving, nice in general...yes. The thoughts came almost without his realizing it.</p><p class="p1">So, how did he want to handle it?</p><p class="p1">Well...maybe he could talk to her. Be nicer--be nice, period. Start hanging out with her. Take her to lunch or to see a movie.</p><p class="p1">Where did <em>that</em> come from? That was--a date.</p><p class="p1">Sonic the Hedgehog was thinking about taking Amy Rose out on a date!</p><p class="p1">It was all too weird. Sonic shook his head and went back into his room and put on the stereo again, careful not to crank it too loud like last time. He was just going to kill the time until Tails and E got back. He had to talk about this with someone.</p><hr/><p class="p1">"We're home!" Tails yelled, slamming the door.</p><p class="p1">Sonic woke up from his catnap with a start. He didn't recall dozing off. He shut off the stereo and joined his friends. They were unloading and putting away the groceries, and he automatically began to help.</p><p class="p1">"Anything happen while we were out?" Tails asked.</p><p class="p1">"Yeah, actually," Sonic began, hesitantly.</p><p class="p1">"What was it?" E-102 asked.</p><p class="p1">"Well, I was watching the traffic again, like yesterday," said Sonic, "and I saw Amy out there."</p><p class="p1">"Yeah, so?" Tails asked.</p><p class="p1">"So--I don't know, it's all weird, I don't get it--maybe I don't hate her."</p><p class="p1">E-102 blinked, or at least flashed off the lights in his simulated eyes. "That is good. What is it that you do not understand?"</p><p class="p1">"I'm supposed to hate her!"</p><p class="p1">Tails sighed. "No, you're not. She's not that bad. Is that all that happened?"</p><p class="p1">"Well...no...I watched her walk down the street, and I kinda wasn't thinking, and all of a sudden it popped into my head that she's...pretty."</p><p class="p1">Tails raised an eyebrow. "That's not a surprise, she's always been pretty, I knew it'd dawn on you sooner or later."</p><p class="p1">Sonic shook his head. "I think maybe she's even...attractive."</p><p class="p1">"Pretty and attractive are generally regarded as synonymous," E-102 pointed out.</p><p class="p1">"No! I mean, I think she's attractive in the sense that <em>I</em>...am attracted...to...<em>her</em>."</p><p class="p1">"You do think it or you might think it?" Tails asked.</p><p class="p1">Sonic was caught off guard. "I just said that I <em>did</em> think it, didn't I?"</p><p class="p1">"I think you like her," Tails said.</p><p class="p1">Sonic looked pleadingly at E-102, who said, "I know nothing of romantic relationships, but I do see that you have new emotions for Amy Rose."</p><p class="p1">Sonic leaned against the counter. No way. Not in a million years could he like her. Not after all the effort he'd put into avoiding her.</p><p class="p1">"Admit it, Sonic, you at least want to get to know her, don't'cha?" Tails teased.</p><p class="p1">Sonic nodded. "I thought that already."</p><p class="p1">"And you want to spend time with her?" Tails persisted.</p><p class="p1">Sonic nodded again.</p><p class="p1">"That makes it a crush," Tails declared. "Maybe more than a crush."</p><p class="p1">Sonic shook his head. "I need to think..." he said, staggering off back to his room.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Everything you know is wrong</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Black is white, up is down and short is long</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And everything you thought was just so important</em>
  <br/>
  <em>doesn't matter</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Everything you know is wrong</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Just forget the words and sing along</em>
  <br/>
  <em>All you need to understand is</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Everything you know is wrong</em>
</p><p class="p1">Nothing seemed right now. Things were all in place but they didn't make sense. Two and two were five.</p><p class="p1">Well...if <em>everything</em> had changed...did that mean it was possible that he was actually over Sally, and ready for another relationship...with Amy Rose?</p><p class="p1">To his surprise he wasn't repulsed by the idea.</p><p class="p1">In fact, he felt himself smiling.</p><p class="p1">
  <br/>
  <em>I was walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams</em>
  <br/>
  <em>when I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension</em>
</p><p class="p1">This was entirely new territory. There were so many new thoughts and ideas and emotions it was hard to tell <em>what</em> was going on in his head.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>and soon I was abducted by some aliens from space</em>
  <br/>
  <em>who kinda looked like Jamie Farr</em>
</p><p class="p1">One new idea finally solidified and took over in his head--if he was smiling, didn't <em>that</em> mean that...he liked her?</p><p class="p1">
  <em>They sucked out my internal organs</em>
  <br/>
  <em>and they took some Polaroids and said I was a darn good sport</em>
  <br/>
  <em>and as a way of saying thank you</em>
  <br/>
  <em>they offered to transport me back to any point</em>
  <br/>
  <em>in history that I would care to go</em>
</p><p class="p1">But then, where did that leave Sally? An empty feeling kind of took over until he remembered just exactly what had started this whole mess--Sally telling him that she wanted to be left alone to be happy with Antoine, to just be friends.</p><p class="p1">He could do that now. He could do that without thinking twice, if his affections were wrapped up in someone else.</p><p class="p1">Sonic went back out to the living room. "Hey, guys, if I was to start talking to Amy, what would you think I should say?"</p><p class="p1">
  <em>And so I had them send me back to last Thursday night</em>
  <br/>
  <em>so I could pay my phone bill on time</em>
</p><p class="p1">Tails blinked. "How about starting with, 'I've had a change of heart'?" he asked.</p><p class="p1">Sonic looked at E-102, who simply said, "Affirmative."</p><p class="p1">Sonic nodded.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Just then the floating disembodied head of</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Colonel Sanders started yelling</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Everything you know is wrong</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Black is white, up is down and short is long</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And everything you thought was just so important</em>
  <br/>
  <em>doesn't matter</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Everything you know is wrong</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Just forget the words and sing along</em>
  <br/>
  <em>All you need to understand is</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Everything you know is wrong</em>
</p><p class="p1">This wasn't right; it didn't make sense, but it wasn't a bad thing.</p><p class="p1">He liked Amy Rose.</p><p class="p1">It had clicked, and now Sonic was only left with the simple problem of what to do about it.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin</em>
  <br/>
  <em>when I got a nasty papercut</em>
  <br/>
  <em>and, well, to make a long story short</em>
  <br/>
  <em>it got infected and I died</em>
  <br/>
  <em>so now I'm up in heaven with</em>
  <br/>
  <em>St. Peter by the pearly gates</em>
</p><p class="p1">Sonic went back into his room and kicked back on his bed. This was kind of a nice feeling. He liked Amy Rose. It didn't hurt to think of Sally; they could probably be friends; and he liked Amy Rose.</p><p class="p1">Visions of dates with Amy began to dance thought his head and a somewhat dreamy smile crept over his face.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>and it's obvious he doesn't like the Nehru</em>
  <br/>
  <em>jacket that I'm wearing</em>
  <br/>
  <em>He tells me that they've got a dress code</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Well, he lets me into heaven anyway</em>
  <br/>
  <em>but I get the room next to the noisy ice machine</em>
  <br/>
  <em>for all eternity</em>
  <br/>
  <em>and every day he runs by screaming</em>
</p><p class="p1">At least, until he thought about the fact that he was, sooner or later, going to have to <em>tell</em> Amy Rose that he liked her. That was probably not going to be pleasant. He'd make his declaration; she'd get excited, and squeal, and ask if it was really true, and he'd affirm it, and she'd get even more excited and hug him around his neck--okay, that didn't seem too bad...</p><p class="p1">Now he just had to get up the guts to do it.</p><p class="p1">Everything you know is wrong<br/>Black is white, up is down and short is long<br/>And everything you used to think was so important<br/>Doesn't really matter anymore because the simple<br/>fact remains that<br/>Everything you know is wrong<br/>Just forget the words and sing along<br/>All you need to understand is<br/>Everything you know is wrong<br/>Everything you know is wrong</p><hr/><p class="p1">Sonic didn't let too much time slip by. That was just how he functioned--straight to the point.</p><p class="p1">The next day, he went out into town without Tails or E-102. He found a florist and made the rather embarrassing purchase of several dark pink daisies. It might not have been <em>so</em> bad except the girl behind the counter recognized him and made a small fuss--he'd had to sign several autographs before he could slip away.</p><p class="p1">He then headed back home, put the flowers in the refrigerator to keep them fresh, and watched the window. He'd seen Amy leave her apartment several hours earlier, so now his only option was to play the waiting game.</p><p class="p1">It was only half an hour, but it seemed like days until Amy reappeared and entered her building. Sonic raced for the fridge, grabbed the daisies, and rushed across the street.</p><p class="p1">He entered the building and glanced at the mailboxes. Name after name...finally! Amy Rose Hedgehog in apartment 24. He walked down the hall. One, two, three...ten. The next floor was eleven, twelve...he went up to the next floor and found twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four.</p><p class="p1">Here he was.</p><p class="p1">He could hear pop music coming through the door--it sounded like some big-name girl group but he couldn't put his finger on it. "Sweet, sweet, oh so sweet, so many things I want, sweet, sweet, oh so sweet, I wanna be a wonderful girl..."</p><p class="p1">Well, at least she was there.</p><p class="p1">He took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. The music softened and he heard rustling within the apartment. As an afterthought he stuck the flowers behind his back--just in time. The door opened.</p><p class="p1">"Hi, Amy," he faltered.</p><p class="p1">She blinked, more than a little surprised to see him. "Sonic? Uh...hi!" She smiled brightly. "What's up?"</p><p class="p1">He took his own turn at blinking. "Uh...well...I...I...these are for you!" He held out the daisies, grinning like an idiot.</p><p class="p1">She gasped. "For me?" She took them and held them to her nose, inhaling deeply. "Wow...they're beautiful...but why?" She cocked her head and held one eyebrow askance.</p><p class="p1">"Well...I...I, uh...I've kind of been...um, thinking...and I...well...maybe I...AmyIthinkIlikeyou!" It came out much faster than he intended it to.</p><p class="p1">"What? Say that again--slower," she asked.</p><p class="p1">He nodded. Now that he'd said it--even if she hadn't understood it--he could say it again. "Amy...I...I like you."</p><p class="p1">She dropped the daisies. "You? Like...me?" She girlishly put a hand over her heart.</p><p class="p1">He nodded. "Uh...yeah...I do..."</p><p class="p1">"You mean, like a girlfriend?"</p><p class="p1">He nodded again, feeling the blood rising to his cheeks.</p><p class="p1">She blinked. Twice.</p><p class="p1">And then she leapt forward, hugging him around the neck. "Oh, Sonic!"</p><p class="p1">His eyes widened, but he smiled. He hugged her back. "So...do you think maybe I could come in now?"</p><p class="p1">She pulled back and smiled flirtatiously as she nodded her approval. "Care to stay for dinner? I can make chili dogs..."</p><p class="p1">He picked up the daisies and walked in with her. "Uh...sure..."</p><p class="p1">She shut the door behind them.</p><hr/><p class="p1">Several hours later, Sonic returned to his own apartment, telltale redness on his cheeks.</p><p class="p1">Tails was waiting for him in the kitchen. "I kept some food warm for you," he said.</p><p class="p1">"I already ate...at Amy's..." Sonic told him, tentatively.</p><p class="p1">Tails grinned. "So...it went well?"</p><p class="p1">Sonic nodded.</p><p class="p1">"And?"</p><p class="p1">"And what?"</p><p class="p1">Tails rolled his eyes. "Spill your gut! What happened?"</p><p class="p1">"Well...I gave her some flowers."</p><p class="p1">"And?"</p><p class="p1">"And she asked what for."</p><p class="p1">"And?"</p><p class="p1">"I said I liked her."</p><p class="p1">"And?"</p><p class="p1">"And she hugged me."</p><p class="p1">"And?"</p><p class="p1">"And I invited myself in, and she offered to make dinner..."</p><p class="p1">Tails shook his head. "So, is she your girlfriend or not?"</p><p class="p1">"Yes, she's my girlfriend!" Sonic said. The blush rose to his face again. "Are you satisfied?"</p><p class="p1">"Quite," Tails informed him. "I always <em>told</em> you she wasn't so bad."</p><p class="p1">Sonic blinked. "Not that bad?! She's wonderful! I--I guess I'm proving your point, aren't I?"</p><p class="p1">Tails nodded.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Airline Amy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The song for this chapter is <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fK5TiqQn7wo">Airline Amy</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Several weeks later, Sonic was taking Amy Rose out on another date. He'd planned a little something special this time.</p><p class="p1">"Where are we going?" she asked as they entered the train station together. "I hope it isn't too far or the picnic may spoil."</p><p class="p1">Sonic shook his head. "Don't worry, E helped me pack it so it would...how did he say it? Maintain its freshness for the longest possible quantity of time."</p><p class="p1">Amy smiled and giggled. Sonic found it hard to believe that there had been a time when he had thought this beautiful, funny girl to be so annoying.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Met this pretty young stewardess on a non-stop flight</em>
  <br/>
  <em>She showed me to my seat and it was love at first sight</em>
</p><p class="p1">It had seemed that as soon as he had seen her walking down the street that day, he had liked her.</p><p class="p1">"So where are we going, anyway?" Amy asked again.</p><p class="p1">He blinked. "It's a surprise! It's not that far, don't worry."</p><p class="p1">They boarded the next train that came in. "The train headed for the Mystic Ruins will be departing soon," the loudspeaker announced.</p><p class="p1">"The Mystic Ruins?" Amy asked. "Are we going to Knothole again?"</p><p class="p1">Sonic shook his head. "You'll see!"</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Now lately I've been flying to all kinds of places</em>
  <br/>
  <em>That I never really wanted to go</em>
  <br/>
  <em>'Cause I'll do anything just to spend a little time</em>
  <br/>
  <em>With the cutest flight attendant I know</em>
</p><p class="p1">They had been to Knothole the week before to go to a party hosted by one of Amy's friends. Sonic hadn't been particularly thrilled with the idea, but if Amy wanted to go, he'd go, and even though he hated to admit it, he'd had a good time.</p><p class="p1">The ride went by quickly and they got off on the platform. Sonic took her hand with the hand that wasn't carrying the picnic basket and he led her down the platform and down the slope over to the hill.</p><p class="p1">"Where are we going?" she asked again.</p><p class="p1">"Not much farther," he reassured her.</p><p class="p1">He led her up a flight of brown stone stairs set into the hill and up to a small building at the top.</p><p class="p1">"This is Tails' workshop," he told her. "And this is where he keeps the Tornado."</p><p class="p1">Amy smiled. "We're going up in the Tornado?" she asked.</p><p class="p1">Sonic grinned. "I knew you'd love it!" He opened the door and hit the button that activated the automatic doors and the runway. Then he climbed up on the plane and stashed the picnic basket under his seat. He extended a hand down to her and helped her climb up and into the rear seat. "Put your seatbelt on," he said, "'Cause it's going to be a wild ride!" He hopped into the front seat and started the engine.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>You set my ever-lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Tell me I'm your favorite frequent flier, Airline Amy</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Found a little piece of heaven on a 747</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And no one else can take me higher than Airline Amy</em>
</p><p class="p1">"Wow, Sonic!" Amy cried, so high up in the air that it was like being able to see across the entire world. "This is beautiful! It's amazing!"</p><p class="p1">Sonic smiled. Was he good, or was he good?</p><p class="p1">After a while he brought the plane to a smooth landing on Angel Island and they began unpacking the lunch.</p><p class="p1">"Looks good," she remarked.</p><p class="p1">"Beware the Jello," Sonic cautioned. "Tails made it. He says he did it right this time, but after the last two tries I don't know if I trust him..."</p><p class="p1">Amy gave him a funny look and he told her the whole story of the colored water and the superball.</p><p class="p1">They ate their lunch, talking and laughing together, until, finally, they had eaten everything but the Jello.</p><p class="p1">"Let's at least try it," Amy said. "It seems so unfair not to."</p><p class="p1">"Oh, all right," Sonic relented. "If you insist--but don't say I didn't warn you."</p><p class="p1">Amy dished out the grape Jello. "It looks okay..." she said.</p><p class="p1">"It smells okay," Sonic observed, somewhat suspiciously.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Every one of our dates is at thirty thousand feet</em>
  <br/>
  <em>She always points out the exits to me, she's so sweet</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You know she gets me my headphones for free</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Refills my coffee cup whenever I ask</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And you gotta admit my baby looks pretty hot</em>
  <br/>
  <em>When she's wearin' that oxygen mask</em>
</p><p class="p1">Amy stuck her spoon in and bravely took a bite.</p><p class="p1">She smiled.</p><p class="p1">"It's okay!" she announced.</p><p class="p1">He took a bite of his own. "Huh...he actually got it right..." Sonic shook his head. "Miracles happen after all."</p><p class="p1">
  <em>You set my ever-lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Tell me I'm your favorite frequent flier, Airline Amy</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Found a little piece of heaven on a 747</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And no one else can take me higher than Airline Amy</em>
</p><p class="p1">"That's what I said when you showed up at my door with a bouquet of daisies," Amy said softly.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>Amy, darlin', don't you know, you really drive me nuts</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Every time you're handing out those honey roasted peanuts</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Airline Amy, this is my new mission</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Gotta get you in an upright locked position</em>
</p><p class="p1">Sonic smiled. "And I am so glad I did," he said. He leaned over and pressed his lips to hers, slowly turning it into a passionate kiss.</p><p class="p1">She smiled and curled up against him. "I love you," she said, her voice low and sweet.</p><p class="p1">He nuzzled his face into her hair. "I love you, too." he whispered.</p><p class="p1">
  <em>You set my ever-lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Tell me I'm your favorite frequent flier, Airline Amy</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Found a little piece of heaven on a 747</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And no one else can take me higher than Airline Amy</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You set my ever-lovin' heart on fire, Airline Amy</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Tell me I'm your favorite frequent flier, Airline Amy</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Found a little piece of heaven on a 747</em>
  <br/>
  <em>And no one else can take me higher than Airline Amy</em>
</p>
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